Your poem is straight up and to the point, something most poets are striving for, your not as rough around the edges as you think.....find your flow which i think you already did but you haven't realized it yet.
5/5

Damn this is tight im adding to faves

If you're truly just starting out, then I would say you have a knack for poems. I thought this one flowed well and was all around good, so keep up the good work :D.