I LOVE the line, so close I can hear your thoughts!!!! Great imagery there but in your 8th line....I would take out the word "every" because it tosses the flow around. Other than that, beautiful job!
Charisma*

I loved the third stanza. especially the line: i feel your breath inside my lungs

really shows two people becoming one :) great job! i actually like the fact that you only fully explain whats happening (dancing) toward the end... draws you out till the end.