A profound piece with a nice, solid flow. The rhyme aids in the story told and creates an effective atmosphere for the reader. Just a suggestion on this one line that bothered me:

"Slowly she let out the loudest cry.."

It could work well if you tried something like:

"Slowly she unleashed a fearless cry".

I don't know, really. It'd just add to the tension build-up. It's up to you, obviously. Haha, but on the whole, a good piece. Well done :).

A broken heart is the worst pain of all, and the worst thing about it is nobody can see the mark or the scar but underneath it's their. excellent job again 5/5

I am so sad now it made me cry it was AWESOME so keep it up :)

Well written take a bow, you have stolen the show Amazing flow, perfectly penned, deep emtion, brillant word choice, really really well done. keep up the amazing work. 5/5

Perfectly penned superb write!
U've captured the emotions so very well n the good choice of words have added to the poem's beauty...excellen flow...with great rhyme scheme...all in all...no errors as far as i m concerned....very well done!...heartfelt write!
5/5!=)

xxPoojaxx

Wonderful poem. amazing flow and so much emotion. well done.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Chelsea

Touching...very touching. It was a very emotional piece which I enjoyed very much! Sadly, there were some parts where the flow was a bit awkward I though...but maybe thats just me...nice job though!