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by Startle Me
You should really do some spacing.
Weird and VERY overwhelming.
The first thing that came into my mind when I saw this was
Not in a good way, dearest.
I wish I could write as well as you.
This was uh-maze-zing.
Also, I kind of found it funny when you said something about the spit.
It felt so realistic.
5/5 dearest :]
I thought it was good but you really need spacing other then that i thought it was really great! really got caughting into the emotions liked it alot 5/5
Wow. This is good poem. Very vivid and exciting. I felt the anger and hatred towards a bully. I've had many past experiences and i can truly relate. 5/5
Oh, those darn bullies!
I liked the detailed violence, but the again, who doesent?
fighting is natural so why is it so....amusing?
lol good work.
Wow, lovely poem. the anger and the hatred just felt so real. i loved the ending, there's nothing i would change about it. keep up the great work. 5/5.
by Tricky Daze
It was so sad and sorrowful but my only suggestion would parting them to stanzas..other than that it was pretty touching
by Beautifully Nothing
Wow, very good poem. like they said though, do a little spacing and it will be perfect. amazing poem though, keep up the good work.
Beautiful poem with great rhymes and the dark component. LOved the way it flows and superb work.
Honestly, some parts of this poem completely threw me off. I mean, in some lines you have great descriptions and truly dark atmosphere, and then you make some unoriginal, obvious rhyme which completely ruins whole effect.
Good poem...like it....you just need...erm...spacing maybe...very desriptive however, good work!
by Jenni Marie
Okay..how I love this.
Your descriptions are excellent in this piece, and the imagery was beautifully detailed, it was like I could see everything that was happening.
I loved the many conflicting emotions you put into this, it makes the poem very powerful., and I adore the ending...so stunning and it holds so much power.
Amazing work on this.
I LOVE THIS POEM , MAYBE BECAUSE OF ALL THE ANGER AND RAGE IN IT, I THINK THAT PUT THE EMOTION INTO YOUR WRITE WHICH MADE IT SO GREAT...!!!...5/5