It was nicely done. The poem was very un-cliche comparitivly to most other sad poems. But, the flow was kind of rocky. Some of the lines seem too long or too short. Try reading it over a few times?
And one other thing...
"and beginning to fill like your going to be sick."
I think you mean feel. Just a little typo :]
Good job. :]

I liked this poem I thought it was very unique and written very well. I could picture the birds flying overhead and I could hear that awful noise the crows make in the distance. Excellent flow and imagery a very heartfelt piece 5/5

Excellent imagery. very unique subject matter. however, [if you care about this kind of stuff] you might want to proof it. there's a couple of spelling errors and what not. but, great poem!

It's very VERY good. It is the best sad poem I have read yet, I am going to read more of yours.

Another beautifully written one. I enjoyed reading it. 5/5

Another beautifully written one. I enjoyed reading it. 5/5

I loved the theme and topic... Very original.

Beautiful, really, just beautiful.

As for a suggestion, it would be this:

I think in the first stanza, rather than say "circling" you meant to say "circle" and a few other things are some typos which would be very easy to edit.

Whenever you start a sentence with a word ending "ing" it takes away a bit from the voice of the poem.

Unless you wanted it to be distant...
But, even if you changed just a few of them, I think it would read smoother, with less "ing" bumps along the way.
...If that makes sense...

Haha, again, beautiful work.
You submitted this?

I'm sure it won!

I don't know what else to say but 5/5! :)

Another good poem.. the flow was nice as well as the word choice.. interesting itle :D

Vey beautiful poem with a nice flow and good selection of lexis. I gave it a 5/5. Keep up the spirit. tc

How sad.. this is a very tragic poem.. well peace

Knowing that something maybe dead.

Sorry about that random comment. >.< Computer problems.
Now.

Knowing that something maybe dead.
[[That caught my attention. It was a suttle...oh...ladeedaa thing and then BAM you get that. Nice. =)]]

you see the body of a young child and
[[I would take out the "and", if I were you. It just makes it sound better.]]

A single tier falls down your face to the ground
and beginning to fill like your going to be sick.
[[A single {tear}...
The second line is grammar.
And {you are} beginning..
Or
And you {begin}..
Yeah.]]

Pulling out your cell phone you call the police
before you pull yourself into a ball and cry.
[[Ack! Do NOT put manmade things in a poem like "cellphone". Maybe it's just me, but it ruins or and turns it into more of a story.]]

Though. I really like the idea of this whole poem. It was interesting and unique; I really liked how the last two stanza pulled it together as if the Sparrows would haunt you forever. I really liked how you took such an innocent animal and made it seem like the barrier of death.
Nicely done.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

Very powerful writing. This is your first time? Well, lot better than mine! This is very original, btw.

The little sparrows and crows call in your dreams.
Forever a reminder of what you had seen that day.
Now the sparrows site in the branches of dead trees
near the grave of that little girl, now forgotten by most.
But forever remembered by you, every day of your life.

Fave stanza ^^

Really good, good imagery, good wording, very unique, I loved it, and it was one of the best sad poems I have ever read!

5/5