''Come to bed quick''

I thought the flow was off in that line, which threw me a little.

Apart from that one line however, I frikken LOVED this.
The opening was so powerful, beautiful and intense at the same time, it really pulled me in, and after the first few lines I was completely hooked.

The ending was beautifully written, I found it to be sweet and moving.
Flow was good for the most part, except for the line I mentioned, I think you did a wonderful job with this.