I like this poem a lot, but since you wanted harsh critique:
1. The whole second verse was a little off. I didn't get the thing about moving the tree. And I think I know what you meant by "hell lent" but it doesn't make much sense and sounds a bit odd.
2. "Show the devil that death's not fun" this made sense, but it was a little immature or somthing - I can't put my finger on why, but I dislike this line. "UN" is hard to rhyme, but you might find a word other than fun. if not, its just my opinion anyway. I hope this was the kind of critique you were looking for. Either way, I liked this poem a lot. I thought it was heartbreaking and beautiful. Hope I was helpful.
~Claire

Again, I wasn't supposed to read this, but shhhhh.

It was ok, but nowhere near as good as Bye, Bye, Butterfree. I'll take a stab in the dark and say you have a way with nonrhyming poetry.
Anyways.
I liked it, it was okay, but the rhyming seemed forced in some places and it didn't seem to have much emotion to it. I didn't...feel the purpose of it. I don't know.

Sorry, Teria. It's a hard title.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 4.5

As for emotion, it had so much of it, because it made me cry, again!! I can't get enough of your work, and these tissues wil be by my side as i keep reading.
love Tara-Kay
x