This isnt that bad.. it sounds like a story but it sounds like it is happening the momment you read it so yer it is great.. is this sort of where you inspiration comes from?? like your name.. and stuff

This is amazing..i really love it.....i admire the way u right...almost like story-telling...its like i can see it all happening right before my eyes....great job keep up the good work

Break it up into stanzas, otherwise it will sound like a blog entry or a story

but its good though =)

I was not sure how to react to this poem it had some wonderful images in it and I found myself wanting to take in all, but I can't place my finger on it except to say something was missing and I don't know what Plot121

Ooo! I like! I like very much! Very pretty! Very interesting...5/5 Great job!

Greatly written dark poem, with haunting imagery.
I think you should write it in stanzas, it would leave better impression, but the poem is good, anyway.
Well done, 5/5

Wow this poem is fantastic, you created amazing atmosphere. It is very dark and the end is effective. I like th wording the most.
Running, hiding, from a darkness that haunts her. Fantasy overtakes her mind,- this is my favorite line.
Superb poem with excellent imagery, 5/5