Comments : Provoke Me

  • 17 years ago

    by my name is Llama

    I really like this poem. it had great rhythem. top job

  • 16 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    I love the introduction to this poem. You submitted this into the sad category so I felt the poem from the first was about self harm. But when reading on I saw that the poem was not on that. That had a really nice refreshing feel to it. The poem itself has a good rhyme scheme going on and it helps give it a nice flow. The first stanza you kind of introduced the poem without going into much detail. Then you go on to expand on what you said. You also don't directly say what he did, yet you hint at it so it is obvious. The reader does know what you meant in this poem. The fourth stanza is my personal favourite; you make it so you're describing sweets. And this gives it this really brilliant imagery, and I really love how you have done that. The ending is emotional and concludes the poem nicely. To improve your writing I suggest you expand on your punctuation. It seems a little limited, and it's quite a strict pattern. Using enjambment and punctuation where you want it can make the reader read the poem as you want it to be read. Thank you for participating in my contest.