A girl stands staring into a mirror, looking back is a mess of insecurities. The vast oceans of blue tell little truth.
[[Beautiful description here. I don't know why, though, but I hate the word "blue" being used. Try a different one? That's just a suggestion.]]

Her eyes hold so much potential; not even she knew she had.
[[Wrong punctuation here.
...potential not even she....
Or if you want the semi-colon
...potential; there's something about it she never knew she had... ect. [That was bad, but bare with me.]]]

They burn with pride; but the candle is almost out.
[[Again, bad punctuation.
...pride{,} but the...
or if you want the semi-colon
...pride{;the} candle is....]]

The smile she flashes has a lifetime of experience.
[[I don't like the use of "flashes". Sounds... gauty, if you can sound gauty in a poem. =/]]

Those pearly whites know how to dazzle them with a show.
[[I don't like pearly whites here, only because it's so cliche. However, if you want to keep it I won't kill. But, I love the thought of this line...like, where you were going and what you meant.]]

Her mouth is full and seductive; it can keep the darkest of secret.
[[I read and read and read this line, but I can't say whether I utterly hate it or love it. =/. Confusing.]]

She bites her lip and watches as you lick the poison off them.
[[Cliche. And. Where'd the poison come from? Why not "insecurites" or "sin"... that's what you were talking about, really..]]

She holds the to key your pity.
[[Yes! Now THIS is an amazing line!]]

She looks into the mirror and all she can see are all of her sins smiling back at her.
[[Not sure why, but I don't like this line. It's too...plain. Where's the description you used earlier?]]

Sorry this is so long, but I saw it had no votes or comments and had to attack it. Whether you want it or not, I'll always comment your poetry; never stop a rising writer.

Anyways.

Overall I loved it, but it was not a poem. It's more of a very short prose. Do NOT make it into a poem, either. I love it the way it is.
However, I have a huge complaint. I didn't feel it was finished. Maybe that's just me, but you didn't really leave suspence, nor did you finish it. I don't know... Maybe I'm crazy, but this could be a lot longer. =/.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

I love this poem... she sounds... o so... i dont even know the words for it...
very good poem, i didnt think it was written badley at all hun
good job :)
<3 ang