Comments : Love battles and their fighters

  • 16 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    Pretty nice piece overall. I really loved your opening lines...
    "Try seeing it from my side
    Try always being wrong"

    I like how you say there's not necessarily blood and guts...but it doesn't make the fights any better and yet you conclude with the line about stopping bloodshed. It's pretty good! Really brings out the darker side of love...
    Charisma*

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    This was beautifully written. the emotion and depth in this piece are easy for the reader to see, while the imagery created painted very vivid pictures in my mind. the flow was perfect throughout the entire piece. the only thing i didn't like was the use of so many I's. but apart from that, this is beautiful.

  • 16 years ago

    by MyEscape

    It's interesting how you compare love to a war almost in a literal sense, made especially more real by your last line. It's like all the words and fights were literal bruises and scars. It's an interesting take on the whole experience. Good job!
    *ME*