The flow defintetly there! I could keep a steady rhythm throughout the piece! I liked your Rhyming pattern as well. It's unique and different. I also think that the rhyming worked well with the poem you were writing. The storyline was kind of sad, but I can say that you did a great job making the poem believable and picturable. I formed a picture in my mind of the scene, and was able to follow your words and create a story. Great job!

I like first and third stanza but last three lines in second stanza are poor. Very good and deep poem. Topic is excellent and I like wording very much.
5/5

Aw this is really good, i really like the writing. very thought-provoking.
xxx