Personally i liked it alot.

It was really entertaining! I liked it, it written very well and you can ralate to it. Good work and thank you on the comments on my work.

-Nao-

Well it was very graphic.

You see I will give it a 5/5 because its better than my first poems.

Really it was.

So since this is begininers work I will give it a 5.

But for the critique.

You must work on your flow alot better. Also. Please when you write, try to give of interpretation so that the reader can interpret what the poem that you wrote. So that they may know what it means when they read it.

Now I have found out what it means. And I was able to interpret the information you left on the poem. But, many other poets, [especially beginners] will not know what it means. So please. Leave a little more information.

This poem is a Fair poem. But again, way, way, way, better than my first ones. Seriously.

So I give you a 5.

Please keep writing, do not stop. Master the words, Learn new words, put your head on a thesaraus and dictionary and learn new words so you can master your vocabulary and take your poems to the fullest extent.

I will add you to my favorites to check up on you if you write more poems.

A critique to your consideration,
Samuel.

"I shall always and forever be..."
[Deathly'Amore]

Great poem, it's wonderful how the imagery used can paint a picture in the mind! Excellent! 5/5

Nice piece. Imagery was awesome. Very thought provoking.
Take Care Cindy

Coool. gd work.