Comments : My tears could never go stray...

  • 16 years ago

    by Fsams

    Goodbye is the last word,
    To all dreams that you tore
    To all the promises you could swore...
    I promise not to let my tears to go stray,
    Neither will they be wasted away ,
    On a painful realisation
    Which is so hard to say...

    These are so heartfelt lines for me. I could almost feel your pain when I read it. The Total rhyming stanza was also good except the last line "You had enough trying to make my life a living hell". Little work on this line would improve the rhythm and flow of the stanza string. But but but...your poem is 100% poetic and it is outstanding. :)

    Tc
    With love
    Fsams

  • 16 years ago

    by Johnnys Medicine

    A well written piece
    it for some reason reminds me of a life i had years ago during a dark era of my life
    keep it up