Comments : A love unrequited

  • 16 years ago

    by Serina the Squid

    She waited, like velvet darkness

    Trapped in a fistful of dreams

    My favorite lines. A good poems, the question marks don't seem to fit, I don't exactly get their meaning.

  • 16 years ago

    by Monica AKA Mika

    I really like this poem a lot i love how you added nature in here, its beautiful really! keep up the good work...5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Hebe

    Good poem.
    An enjoyable read.
    Take care.

  • 16 years ago

    by aDORKable x3

    A very well written poem. The word choice was excellent and the emotion that was portrayed in it was amazing! It should be a 5/5.
    ````````````````````
    My favorite lines were:
    She waited, like velvet darkness
    Forsaken, desolate, insatiable
    &&
    They were one, because they were broken
    They were broken because they were one,
    ``````````````
    They expressed such emotion! The last two were my absolute favorite. :)

    Great job! :)

    Ciao

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    I loved how you would say " She waited for him" and such, then use decriptive words to back it up. It was just, amazing. (: I've done it a few times, but your much better at description than I am. (:

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by kate

    Wow this was a beautiful poem, i felt like it was happening, waiting for someone is a big thing honestly because you dont know whats going on on their part you know and it was told very deeply how she waiting honestly.

    you did a good job.
    keep up the good work.
    keep on writing.
    love always and forever.

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    Wonderful expression indeed! I loved the second and third stanzas the most they had the most expressive vocabulary to me. I think that the flow was really good and you have written a nice piece of literature here wonderful job
    5/5
    kaila