Eh I wish you could have written it in a different way. There were several grammar and punctuation issues and a few spelling issues too. They're very important; they make you seem more professional. No you don’t have to rhyme or use metaphors but if you’re not going to do that but then I suggest being very descriptive and for me I appreciate when people use interesting words. For ex: impaled, sacrifice, devastated, humiliated, poverty,
pyromaniac, symmetry, ghastly, eerie, hallucinated, plummet, discrete, bluntly, exedra. They’re good description words and they make poems more interesting. I’m not saying you don’t know what poetry is but I recommend checking out this site: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poetry Read the different things that make a poem a poem and experiment. I do the same thing so don’t feel like I’m bossing you around like a teacher and if I am a teacher then I always do the same work I tell my students to do. ^_^
Look at the blue words like irony, and symbolism and play around with poems that way. I’ll be doing the same. See ya.
As for rating? Well I wouldn't give a very high one but that's just because I have high standards.