I like the repitition but its almost too much
so tone it down a bit
but its great for your first write!
nice work
4/5
kaila

Hey kaila whats up girl??
lol shes right very good.. and i love the repitition though.. i think it brings the poem its meaning
<3ang

I know but i thought it may be a interesting thing to try

Aww! how beautiful. seems like you have a really strong love for the one you were writing this about, yet it somehow still maintains to be universal...great job! ^_^

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This was a pretty good peice. COnsidering that your just starting out!
Your flow was off, but the emotion expressed was pure love :)
Great job
And welcome to the site
5/5
((Amber))