This one has its own unique structure and It prompted me to read it. :)

I like the poem in totality and your word choice is also good. Keep up the good work

Tc
Fsams

I love the title it's really eye catching. I can picture it being made into a sort of weird video story with the poem being said in the background. It's not as good as I wish it was but you don't have any errors that I am aware of and since it's not really a rhyming poem you don't really need to worry about all of that. Some of it sounded a little cheesey though no offense. Love poems can be hard because everyone talks about broken hearts so it's not your fault. I'll give it a 3 so the rating will average down a bit to I dunno a four point something. Keep trying. :) I'll check out your other ones.

I really enjoyed your poem. I could really understand and feel what you are saying. Great Job and keep up the good work. Please check out some of my work, i would really appriciate the comments to help me out. Thanks