TarTears,
This was an interesting topic that you chose! I'm afraid though, that I did not particularly like the layout. Maybe if you made the lines almost the same length, and added more detail. If there was more detail, then I could understand this poem more. For me, the words jumped around too much and confused me.
I have no clue if I'm making any sense right now, so just PM if you want me explain it better.
Other than that, a good poem ^_^
Right now, I'd probably say 3-4/5, but that could go up ^_^

With all due respect,
Hatori

P.S. If you get a chance, could you please rate and comment one of my poems?
Thanks!

Kind of soon..It was more like a quote than a poem..But i loved the idea..5/5..

P.S.:i would suggest not to listen other people like hatori about what they say and keep your one unique style..Your style is awesome as long as you think so..

I agree with masked_senses(how could I do the opposite :p)...well,seriously every single one of us has a style(or at least should have)...emotion comes from within and not from the means of writing