I loved it.
I liked it even better that you admitted that you've gone through it.
The fact that the writer is talking about a experience and not just making one up, makes it alot better. it makes the poem seem more real. more beliveable.
There isn't one part that i honestly didn't love. I could relate to most of it, but I'll admit not all.
But non the less it was a good poem and your a very talented writer.
I'm sorry you had to go through all this, But I'm glad that you've taken what has happened to you and have made it into someone so wonderful.
Pain stays hidden though you're gonna blow
Good line. Maybe:pain stays hidden, but you're going to blow.
Read four stanzas so far, you repeat 'insane' too much. I get that's the point, but maybe find a synonym?
Smoke a couple joints, pop a couple pills
When the bong bowls empty, ask for a refill
Who gives a damn drugs are messing with your mind
All you're thinking is 'how did I fall so far behind?'
Your friends are getting worried, no longer know who you are
But you think to them, you're just another fallen star
Awesome stanza. Favorite so far. Fifth line breaks flow, though. Reword?
Discard the glass, go straight for the bottle
Recalling when you were the perfect role model
Alcopops, cider, vodka, gin rum and beer
try your hardest to drown all of your fears
Try Alcopops,cider, vodka, rum, and beer
try your hardest to drown your fear
Spent so many days doing nothing but pray
Listening to criticism and spiteful cold names
Spent so many years feeling nothing but shame
I've binged and starved, shoved fingers down my throat
Lied about happiness when in fact my heart was broke
Simply stopped focusing on all my hopes and dreams
Became my worst enemy, another cliche teen
Yeah I've tried them all, blaming everything on bad luck
Then I got over them, why? Because I grew up.
Perfect ending, like the part about the cliche teen.
Watch your weight start to drop down low
See just how far your body can go
Starve yourself for weeks, just waste away
^something alot of girls stuggle with and the thing bout cutting...this poem is very good.....and it compleatly tells the truth about the world and what it has become....and the things ppl do to make themsleves feel better!
When reading this poem, I felt like you were writing about me. I've done all of the above and more. This poem spoke to me and I'm sure it will to many others. Awesome job!! Keep up the spactacular work. :)
This is such a brave poem to write! To openly admit to having experienced all of this takes a very strong person! I would like to commend you for doing so because even though you call yourself a "cliche teen," you are describing the complexity of growing up in a society which is extremely judgmental.
I feel that your poem describes the different problems (self-harming, bulemia and drugs) in an extremely realistic and relatable way which engages the reader from the start and makes them feel like they are not alone.
I think it is a particularly special poem because you have used your own experiences to help others and to me, as a poet, that is the most powerful tool you have, reaching out to others!