Comments : Cliche Teen

  • 12 years ago

    by Tiffany

    This is really good. Its really emotional. gr8 write!

  • 12 years ago

    by Chelsey

    I loved it.
    I liked it even better that you admitted that you've gone through it.
    The fact that the writer is talking about a experience and not just making one up, makes it alot better. it makes the poem seem more real. more beliveable.

    There isn't one part that i honestly didn't love. I could relate to most of it, but I'll admit not all.
    But non the less it was a good poem and your a very talented writer.
    I'm sorry you had to go through all this, But I'm glad that you've taken what has happened to you and have made it into someone so wonderful.
    good job.
    xoxo
    --Chelsey

  • 12 years ago

    by Wallace

    Wow this poem was amazing, very sad and heartfelt. Although it was very long, took me ages to get through it but once I started reading I just couldn stop. Excellent poem, keep it up. Definate 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    I am not offended by this in any way and i have encountered a sort of side to this. Your poem is exellent there is no need to justify your work. It is too good to critize anyways xxx alex xxx

  • 12 years ago

    by Robert

    I really loved this poem. I loved the message and the description of your life was off the wall I look forward to reading your work off we go to another Plot121

  • 12 years ago

    by Serina the Squid

    Pain stays hidden though you're gonna blow
    ^^^
    Good line. Maybe:pain stays hidden, but you're going to blow.

    Read four stanzas so far, you repeat 'insane' too much. I get that's the point, but maybe find a synonym?

    Smoke a couple joints, pop a couple pills
    When the bong bowls empty, ask for a refill
    Who gives a damn drugs are messing with your mind
    All you're thinking is 'how did I fall so far behind?'
    Your friends are getting worried, no longer know who you are
    But you think to them, you're just another fallen star
    ^^^
    Awesome stanza. Favorite so far. Fifth line breaks flow, though. Reword?

    Discard the glass, go straight for the bottle
    Recalling when you were the perfect role model
    ^^^
    Awesome!

    Alcopops, cider, vodka, gin rum and beer
    try your hardest to drown all of your fears
    ^^^
    Try Alcopops,cider, vodka, rum, and beer
    try your hardest to drown your fear

    Spent so many days doing nothing but pray
    ^^^
    Bad grammar

    Listening to criticism and spiteful cold names
    Spent so many years feeling nothing but shame
    I've binged and starved, shoved fingers down my throat
    Lied about happiness when in fact my heart was broke
    ^^^
    Perfect!

    Simply stopped focusing on all my hopes and dreams
    Became my worst enemy, another cliche teen
    Yeah I've tried them all, blaming everything on bad luck
    Then I got over them, why? Because I grew up.
    ^^^
    Perfect ending, like the part about the cliche teen.

  • 12 years ago

    by Krysten

    Okay well...im almost speechless. this was a great poem. simply amazing. i loved it. i can relate to it so esily, as i ve been tho all these things

    ~Yeah I've tried them all, blaming everything on bad luck
    Then I got over them, why? Because I grew up.~

    these were my faorite lines...b/c recently i have grown up alot, and learned to get help.

    thank you for this poem, it touched me in a way, that leaves me near without words to descibe it. :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Krysten

    Okay well...im almost speechless. this was a great poem. simply amazing. i loved it. i can relate to it so esily, as i ve been tho all these things

    ~Yeah I've tried them all, blaming everything on bad luck
    Then I got over them, why? Because I grew up.~

    these were my faorite lines...b/c recently i have grown up alot, and learned to get help.

    thank you for this poem, it touched me in a way, that leaves me near without words to descibe it. :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Christina

    Watch your weight start to drop down low
    See just how far your body can go
    Starve yourself for weeks, just waste away

    ^something alot of girls stuggle with and the thing bout cutting...this poem is very good.....and it compleatly tells the truth about the world and what it has become....and the things ppl do to make themsleves feel better!

  • 12 years ago

    by iloveyouandrew

    I love this poem its so true about teens today about how they cut, smoke, do drugs, and puke up their food i do some of those things so in a way it touched me! great job.

  • 12 years ago

    by she

    This is really powerful, good work

  • 12 years ago

    by jessie

    I thought this was a geat poem keep up the good work

  • 12 years ago

    by adroit

    Very full of meaning and purpose. It's not just a poem, it's also a story.

  • 11 years ago

    by Sarah Mirabile

    When reading this poem, I felt like you were writing about me. I've done all of the above and more. This poem spoke to me and I'm sure it will to many others. Awesome job!! Keep up the spactacular work. :)

    Hugs!
    Sarah

  • 11 years ago

    by Sweet Disposition

    Wow! This is such a great piece, that's so easy for people to relate to. I love how you didn't choose obvious words that would have rhymed, it made it a lot more interesting.

    I liked these lines most:
    'Who cares it's damaging your liver, kidneys and heart
    You're no longer whole anyway, but ripped apart'

  • 7 years ago

    by Eldah Viljoen

    Totally speechless. this is a work of art which only qualifies as a masterpiece

  • 7 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Wow, I think you hit the nail on the head with this and a million people understand one or more stanzas here. Excellent job with flow and pace.

  • 6 years ago

    by Natalie

    This is such a brave poem to write! To openly admit to having experienced all of this takes a very strong person! I would like to commend you for doing so because even though you call yourself a "cliche teen," you are describing the complexity of growing up in a society which is extremely judgmental.
    I feel that your poem describes the different problems (self-harming, bulemia and drugs) in an extremely realistic and relatable way which engages the reader from the start and makes them feel like they are not alone.
    I think it is a particularly special poem because you have used your own experiences to help others and to me, as a poet, that is the most powerful tool you have, reaching out to others!

    Well done for writing this, 5/5 from me!

  • 6 years ago

    by Love Fallacy

    This truely describes what teens go through in our society these days. It is sad but very true. Great poem.

    I was hoping you would be able to check out some of my newer pieces. I would love to get one of them nominated for the poetry contests.

    thank you