Wow..i dont know how you can be so metaphorical in your writing without it being too overbearing...thats amazing work again, wow

It was slightly ambiguous. And by slightly I mean it didn;t pull enough feeling from me because truthfully I didn't know enough about the character, or what the author was trying to point at, to really connect. Maybe if you cemeted down that one thing with a noun or what word you choose that would really connect your audience with your idea, then you could get more out of this.

Wow..intense..i like it...flowed nicely.

5/5 from me =]