Okay. Those who voted 3.0. As a fair poem. They should have SHAME!!!!.

You are a begginer. And for someone who is starting out in the poetry world. DAMMIT that is a very good poem.

I wish you worked on your flow. Especially your vocabulary and grammar.

Keep working. Try a little bit harder. This is a Good poem. [For a begginer] ^_^

Good JOB!

-Sam

[I shall vote 4 out of 5]

Good ideas, well tried!