Jake, This is amazing:D Truly!

I knew you had it in you, you just needed to believe in yourself. This peice is really sad- No one should have too die without someone's love, or knowing that people care, or even knowing they will leave nothing behind.
*But remember people often think they don't matter that no one cares. And that they have done nothing in there life. When really they have. You'll understand what Im talking about soon:P It's a surprise:D.

Very Good for you first time hun(l).
All my love, xoxoxox
Paula.

You have a talent man...nice poem....so sad poem and i want to cry honestly i can realate....5/5 nice poem ^_^

Wow a sad and descriptive piece quite unique 5/5 maybe u can read one of mine.

Wow.I didn't think you would be able to write this good.I think this is better then mine.Awesome first poem.A definate 5/5.
Keep writing.
-Miranda

For a first poem this was extremely good, it rhymed really well, it was very sad the man seemed very lonely indeed great work 5/5

Wow this is a great poem..i really like the end a lot i think it is my favorite part! This is a very emotional poem! I love the way you combine your emotions and words! Great job..your talented keep writting...read some of my poems sometimes...either way 5/5

Wow, i really adore your talent.
you are doing a grat job, keep it up

a 5/5 from me cause you really deserve it.

This is an amazing piece.
I find it sad, and I like how you
wrote it. I think it's very detailed.
I like how each line is written. I give
this a 5/5!!

I liked the 3 middle stanzas but the first and last I did not you started it as a story, and not as a poem and you ended it in the same way. Your wording in the 3 middle stanzas was very well thought out, but this poem needs some punctuation.

Very well done, the flow was great and i loved the imagery. The wording was great, full of emotion and power.
love Tara-Kay
x

Wow, for a first poem it was truely amazing! The emotion poured out of it and left me wanting more! Excellent job!

Brooke<3

Excellent first poem,the rhyming was good and you could feel the sadness. keep them coming.