This is good but there's a typo
other then that your a great writer

Great poem! kinda has the "woah" ending u know...
a couple of things though
"we must be beautiful and thin"
i think it kinda kills the flow...maybe if u make it like this
"we must be beautiful, we must be thin"
it flows better....(in my opinion ofcourse...)
anywho...a definite 5/5 from me....deep poem..=D

^_^

Yess comments

Oooooooooo
^_^

It a really good damn poem

i like a lot.

keep it up