Comments : Foreplay??????

  • 14 years ago

    by Lorryn

    I thought this was heaps good, it hept rhythm and wasnt too dirty... good work...

  • 14 years ago

    by Pete

    I really like the structure of this one its pretty unique, nice and unusual. aab-ccb. Flow is good throughout.

    I gotta say though, it's down and out dirty .. I highly doubt I will be able to look at you and your wife the same anymore!
    All I'll ever see is sluping, gobblin, nibble machines.

    Nice poem though mate, keep it up.
    [5/5]
    ~Pete.

  • 14 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Great work, very unique in it's structure. Awesome work, keep it up.

    Peace, Joe

  • 14 years ago

    by Nic

    It was really good
    i'd like to see more of your poems

  • Love it

  • 14 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    O.k. you asked me to choose the last poem to read for myself. I of course chose this lol. This was great. Not to "in depth" but, enough. I loved the ending, how you question if it happened. That made me laugh. 5/5

    marcella

  • 14 years ago

    by Laura Lamarca

    L14 "I am in luck" would be better there, the extra syllable keeps the overflow melodic. I like the aab ccd rhyme scheme here, keeps it songlike and light.