HOLY!!! I am lost Just wow, that is all I can basically say you really got it going here babe. Amazing use of words and you real made it flow so well. It's just WOW! lol I seriously have no clue what to say its just...wow? -.- LOl xxxx mwah love you loads

I really liked this. It kept me wanting to hear more. Nice word choice and flow.

Great poem
you wrote this magnificently
wonderous imagery
quite a well done peice
one of the best i have read lately
good job

Keenan

Ok, Overall it was just ok in my opinion. The flow was good but could of been better. Your use of Vocab was moderate but that is quiet normal. Your structure was good, with a little help it could be excellent.

I changed a few things within your poem (which you can see below) which I think makes it flow a little better than before.

~~~~~~~~~~

My body aches for you,
longing for your touch.
Our lips touch,
moving sensuously against mine,
tongues united in a kiss of senses.

Pushing me against the wall,
moving down slowly,
your mouth captures my breasts
until my nipples are hard
with sweet and tender desire
from the flames of passion

Pulling you closer,
you caress between my legs,
i feel the tingle, you take your time,
my body trembles with anticipation.
I close my eyes, feeling the blood
rush to the right places.

I slowly take off your boxers,
my mouth waters as i see it,
my fingers tremble as i stroke it,
i hold it in warm embrace.
My lips hunger for its taste.

I part my lips to receive it,
taste of pure bliss,
my tongue moves around it
in a swirling motion.

Now,our bodies are heated,
electricity flowing,
i feel your breath,
gently blowing in my ear.
I plead for you to enter,
to set the tone i desire.

In a tantalizingly rhythm
moving inside me slowly.
The pace quickening.
From you to me,feelings intensifying.

I beg you to look at me
and see the passion
within my eyes,
the love in my heart.
The beat of your heart is mine.

Forever hold me in your arms.
To love you through the night.
To hold you close to me
I lovingly gaze into your eyes.

Let my dream come through

~~~~~~~~~~

Keep up the good work! Never give up, keep on writting and enjoy life to the fullest!

Peace, Joe