It's a sad poem with pretty wording, but you lost your flow within the last stanza....That was the only thing that really stood out to me. But other than that, I think it was a good piece!
*ME*

New rhyme scheme =)
it's nice...
to be honest, i find it a bit long, maybe you could shorten it up, because of rythm...
or not...
your choice =D
it's really well written
*peace*
isabel