Comments : Close my eyes forever

  • 16 years ago

    by Rachel

    Aw! this poem is really cute! thats all there is to it...displaying true meaning

  • 16 years ago

    by vintage darling

    This poem is well written.
    i like your rhyming.
    favorite stanza;
    Your beauty haunts my mind
    Like the ghosts of my past
    But without you in my life
    I would become an outcast

  • 16 years ago

    by Nula

    Aww thats beautiful...so cute.. i love it

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    Mkay, there's a lot I want to say about this poem.

    I'll start with the bad, mkay?

    Always remember it is = it's, you have a lot of its instead of it's; two different meanings.
    Third line in the first stanza could use a shortening.
    Along with the last stanza third line.

    The fourth stanza take out the word 'and' in the third line, it makes better sense and also helps the flow.

    Overall you did a wonderful job, hun. There's a few mistakes, and some flow problems. But, the emotion. . . is wonderful.
    The word choice, is almost flawless, a few tweaks and you'll be there.

    It's really good, don't get me wrong. I gave ti a 4|5 because of the little things that need tweaked though. :/