Comments : Sins Of Omission

  • 14 years ago

    by Broken

    I love it. 5/5 i love how you displayed so much emotion

  • 14 years ago

    by Cindy

    Excellent job on this heartfelt write. The imagery and word choices are great. How many times we wish we could go back and do things differently.
    Take Care Cindy

  • 14 years ago

    by gack60

    Again a really nice piece.

    Whats that old saying???

    You don't know what you've got til it's gone!

    I think this piece supports that notion down to a tee!!

    Its so true, you always regret the things you should have done but never did. (I hate that!)

    reaallly good poem that was a pleasure to read, everything flowed brilliantly.

    Well done



  • 14 years ago

    by Nigel Oliver

    This was a beautiful poem..

    Your wording, your emotion.. expressing such sweet sorrow, asking for forgivness.

    You're an incredible poet.


  • 14 years ago

    by The Queen of Spades

    Another beautiful poem, there is nothing that I would change or edit about this poem, you have such a way with words and such talent. I truly respect love poems that speak truly and honestly without being corny and cliche and you master that art in this poem. Kudos!

  • 14 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    This is so beautifully written.

    The emotion and depth in this piece are amazing, so easily felt by the reader it's almost like -I- was the one feeling them.

    The flow is flawless throughout the whole piece, and the imagery you created was beautifully done, vivid and created some striking visual pictures for me.

    I have no criticism for this...this is perfect.

  • 14 years ago

    by MyEscape

    LOVE the idea of this piece. It's romantic and well written. Good flow and rhyme to it. The last stanza concluded it so well.

    Too late the lesson's learned.

    so easy to relate to, said often, but never cliche because it's always true. Good job!

  • 14 years ago

    by Sherry Lynn

    First of all may I please request that you pass the tissue.

    This poem was/is very heart gripping. Especially to a reader that has treaded those should haves in their life. Sadly, my should have has just been recent which makes this paticuler poem even more touching.

    I love how you portrayed the honesty here. You laid it on the line as to what you should have done and took responsibility for your part instead of merely holding anger and blaming the other party.

    The last stanza:

    "So allay my fears or betray my pride,
    I'll heed your made decision.
    If our loves to live, you must forgive,
    The sins of my omissions. "

    held me strong and spoke volume with truth. I can say that I felt mesmerized by the honesty and elogance that you have put forth.


  • 14 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    Loved this one Pete, it was a great entry. It was very honest and relateable. I know I have been there. The flow was great except in the last stanza, it was a bit off, change around a few words and it would be flawless. Great job.

  • 14 years ago

    by dreamer88

    This poem was so close to home for me... about my last relationship.
    I loved the way it flowed through, and kept me reading, when i write i tend to let to many emotions get in, and loss the flow of the poem.
    I truely loved this poem, wonderful write, hope to read more like it! 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Kate Hicks

    You know, for a lanky,
    white, shaven headed, idiot, you ain't 'alf bad with words. I really like your work. 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Natalie

    Wow. I am truly amazed at the genuine lament and romaticism with which you write. At the first stanza, I was unaware of where you were taking the poem but in retrospect I see that in it you set the basis for a poem that is, very literally, every woman's dream.

    "Should've shared my lips with you,
    At every sole request.
    Should've shown my utter awe,
    At the beauty you possessed."

    I feel that with this stanza your character (dont know if its you) reaches the realisation that life is fleeting. Perhaps I am over analysing here but I get the sensation, when you talk about her beauty that it is going to leave irregardless of whether she walks away. Powerful.

    "Should've spoke my heart to you,
    So you'd know that I'd be there"

    Here I feel the character reaches yet another step of inner growth. I feel that he realises how crucial it is to release your feelings whilst there is still time. Also, how crucial it is to a woman to have that sense of security, of being unconditionally loved.

    "Should've stopped you as you left,
    Held you like a vice.
    Should've done just anything,
    Whatever would suffice."

    These are, undoubtedly, my favourite words in the whole poem. I mean, "held you like a vice," the words are so captivating, so beautiful. In life, we often chose vices that result in our own demise. To chose love, this person as your vice is a concept so pure and admireable.

    The opportunity may have passed your character by but if he has learnt these lessons then one can imagine the intensity of his next love.

    Although perhap somewhat circumstancially (as I have just recently joined this website), I can truly say that this is the best non-published poem I have ever read.

    Congratulations, not everyone can write this way and I believe experience has done you justice.


    p.s. sorry if I said too much. :)