Comments : Senses Fail

  • 16 years ago

    by kelly

    Hi, love the poem, thank you for your comments, really appreciated. x

  • 16 years ago

    by Prophecies In Kodak

    Oh, i swear! i know! i believe it! OH! i can't stop hearing all the singing! OH! my soul has never had this feelingggg. it feels like so much love. you've got so much love in youuu.

    that song explains it. lmao.

  • 16 years ago

    by The Herald

    Neato....if i was you though, id put this under sad, loss. b/c the end ties it together into a realy, meaningful sad poem. i enjoyed it, and have noticed that this one also seems to be written for a contest...what contest are u entering and were can i join?! lol, i liked it...a lot...=)

  • 16 years ago

    by Bret Higgins

    This is a better poem than Rearview Mirror for two reasons

    Firstly it feels more structured and you stay the course. Secondly it doesn't feel over written and it is a more fluid read.

    The sweetness of your lips, the bitterness encased.

    Good line, but I would change the second 'the' to and to remove repetition, also that would remove a pause that isn't really needed (in my opinion)

    Pretty good diction, easy on the eye whilst being heartfelt and deeper than most teenage love poetry.

    Not bad at all.

    Bret

  • 16 years ago

    by donna

    This poem was superb... It was very sweet and very well written as always... Excellent, well done Hun x