I liked the symbolism of the girl as a snake. i understand this feeling. like you are caught up within a person and you know they are wrong but they hold you there until they consume you andnothing is left... i like this... i like it a lot!

"You took your fangs and injected your words
My defense flew away like a cluster of birds."

this was so creative..i loved the flow..an amazing write!

Brooke<3

Sorry, I've been away for so long but I thought I would come back and read some of your work again. I'm glad I read this one. There was just something about it that I absolutely loved! It was good all around. There was a few spots with flow that were a tad bit off, but that never stopped me from throughly enjoying this piece. I have to start writing a little more, I've been on hiatus. If you get a moment, check out some of mine. I'm sure they need some work.
<3
Ciao

I like the symbol use, and the figurative language is beautifully used

Wonderful poem

5/5

This was excellent. the wording was great, along with the imagery and sensory. while reading, its almost like the reader feels like its happening to them and to you, like its forcing them to relate, just because its so real.

--TheGothicAlbino

This is a very unique piece you have written. What good imagery.

But on the snake that poisoned this man
i died slowly as you waited for your meal
But you messed up and you left the field

I liked the picture these lines paint for the minds eye.
Keep writing
Cindy

I'm speechless. this poems is complete perfection
5/5

I love it!!!!

Aww!..i like it!..u shuld put it in the contest!
Aly

Ooh reminds me of a situation somewhat similar to what i was in a few years ago :) very nice

Very nice poem. Lovely and descriptive. I love the animal metaphor. =)