Okay. this was amazing. the depth and emotion in this piece were beautifully portrayed while the flow was flawless throughout the entire piece. imagery created some very vivid and striking pictures for me and i loved the transition from melancholy to hope and back again. that made for a powerful effect on the overall piece. so many people will be able to relate to this piece, particularly how you keep hoping he'll change but always reverts back to his former self. i just hope this isn't your reality. on the whole, amazing job on this.
This is without a doubt one of the best poems I have read in some time. Not only do you describe the story you are attempting to portray, you are able to fill it with such raw emotion it's impossible not to feel dishearted by the content.
Now, I honestly don't care which of these is true - either works just as good.
If the subject is you in this piece (I truly hope it is not), you bring out a raw, primal instinct within me .. revulsion for anything that is able to hurt a female.
If it is not you, boy oh boy, your imagination and in depth knowledge of this is outstanding. You really grab the reader by the hair and drag them into this intolerable world.
I'm going to move on to the flow .. afraid that I will not be able to control myself with this one... Simply Outstanding. I do not use that word lightly. I believe poetry is primarily a spoken art - I put this to anyone reading my comment .. Read this poem outloud before you comment! Never once does it falter, flows gracefully and elegantly from one stanza to the next.
It's an amazingly fluid poem that, to top it all off, is beautifully and poetically titled.
This is so touching, greatly written from the beginning to the end. I like the topic that you picked, and the way you wrote this piece almost brought the tears to my eyes. The flow of the whole poem is excellent and all emotions are greatly expressed.
This was an amazing piece. && it was an attention grabber from beginning to end. this poem was so full of emotion. && itz so sad. the flow was amazing. [sorry im jumping around in my compliments] [lol] but i absolutely loved this poem. it was a great write. 5/5.
Wow!! this is an absolutly beautiful poem....so many girls go through this...i always hear people say " why do people stay with people who abuse them?"....this poem definetly answers that question....you did an amazing job writing this...you definetly have my vote 5/5:)
Contest nomination, have we? Well deserved.
Let's get to the point intended though. (:
I believe after reading all of your work, my opinion is this being one of your strongest poems yet. You flowed very well, and mostly you hit the little details most victims of abuse really feel. And I know that makes this a truly touching and inspirational poem.
Be this truth or tale, I believe you have reached so much potential inside of this. With in time, raising so many emotions inside of the reader. I felt the pain, the sorrow, the rage, and the love. Also, the indecisive reason "She" would be trying to find inside of herself, to finally have it calm.
"She hides the bruises once again
By putting on long sleeves
She tells herself she's had enough...
This time, she'll really leave."
I believe that part was my favorite, for it was full of so much emotion is such a little statement. Almost like if you were to be this person, you infact would be trying to convince yourself as you wrote. It's almost as though you can feel how unsure and torn she really is. And that is what poetry is all about, to feel the words even if sometimes don't know them. As I stated throughly above.
You did such an amazing and touching job on this piece. Never once have I written a comment so very long. You took simple words and simple form and simple rhyme, and you made it into anything other than simple. Again, I will state.. This poem is very much so touching and inspirational. You have a gift, and it has shown here inside of your writing. Especially this piece.
I'll end my novel saying.. Excellent Job.
12 years ago
Wow. the rhyming is there, the emotion. i think all of your work is amazing..
such a sad poem, but the truth is it does happen..
keep up with your amazing work.
by far a 5/5 for me =]
well done, really.
Wow.....When I read the title, I wasn't sure what to expect. This was a wonderful description of the hell that is painted in the lives of these women. I know, I have been there. Amazing job of retelling the story we all know but find it hard to believe that women would stay in this situation. The simple truth being your ending.....They are lied to. They (WE) believe it and are gullible.
As for the poem, the flow was on spot, and the message was delivered without being too overly wordy. Awesom Job.
Awesome Job, Awesome Write.....
Wow. I can relate to this. Not with me, but someone I know. This peice was heartbreaking. Wow, you had my attention from the first stanza up until the last. Great job. I think that your last line summed everything up well.