Comments : Goodbye Letter

  • 12 years ago

    by JustKristina

    Great poem... it is sad that this happens to most people when they go away to collge and you did a very good job of putting this to words. I think that the ending was a little off and it could use a better "closing" stanza.. maybe like

    i know that all the great times we had, we just lost into thin-air
    But maybe that was my imagination and they weren't really there....

    I don't know.. i'm not trying to re-write your poem for you.. just helping out!!!! great job! keep it up !:)

  • 12 years ago

    by Romantic Lover

    I hope this isn't a true story.

    So sad. and uniquely written.
    Nice job

  • 12 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I know that feeling of being away for a little while and it just seems nobody cared that you were gone in the first place. It's good to see you posting poems again, it's about time ;) 5/5 GG23

  • 12 years ago

    by Teria

    I want to do a full body critism :

    I' m writing you this poem to get my feelings out
    I have some things in mind I need to let you know about.

    I know you all don' t miss me and I know you all don' t care
    But I' ve got to get these feelings out so you are all aware.

    *** I absolutely LOVE these lines, they're so amazing and they just get the attention of the reader right away with the boom, bam - rhyme scheme and amazing emotion stuff. (: ***

    I' ve been away at college for just about a year
    And you' ve all continued on as if I was never here.

    *** " . . . as If I was never here." << Now, that goes there perfectly but to me it just sounded odd. There's not much to do about it due to the rhyme scheme, and it fits just fine. But, I thought I'd be completely honest with it ***

    You' ve all forgotten me and the fact that I exist
    What gets me hard and hurts me most is I' m not even missed.

    Not one of you has come to visit or called to just say hi
    I wish I knew back then that it would be my last good-bye.

    *** I LOVE THESE LINES <3 ***

    I must confess that since I left I' ve never felt so alone
    I though that you would help me out, but I' ve been on my own.

    * * * " . . . I`ve never felt so alone" << Maybe try ' I have' instead? It just sounds better because of the flow.

    A place so quiet, a place so new, I don' t think I can make it
    You' ve blocked me out, the silence screams.. I don' t think I can take it.

    So , so-called " friends " .. you are no more.. and this time I
    don' t care
    It' s not like I will miss you . . . because you were never really there.

    *** Amazing ending. (: ***

    - - - -
    The entire poem : is my favorite so far today. (: I'm in love with it 100%, and it's going on my favorite poems. You have such control over the flow and rhyme - yes, there were a few things that I THINK needed changed, but nothing too extreme, and the rest made up for it.

    Keep it up. (:

  • 12 years ago

    by Gizmo

    'I' ve been away at college for just about a year
    And you' ve all continued on as if I was never here'

    -oh how i no how that one feels. :[
    this is a strong emotional poem, written from the heart no flattery or made flowery just straight out and to the point. thats why i love your poems so much. you have a stereotypical way of writting but with your own flare and twist.

    the ending was jesus, thumbs up! :]

    absolutely loved it. but itll never compared to the one bout your parenst not understanding. :]

  • 12 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    The flow of this was right on and the message powerful. It is sad when someone is not only gone but forgotten. An emotional write. Great job!

  • 12 years ago

    by robin milford

    Great poem good job showing those emotions excellent job