Ah.. what a refreshing and beautiful piece about my favorite place, the ocean. I loved how each word held immense amount of meaning and the imagery your words created, were flawless and breathtaking. I was imagining the scene in my mind, and it was beautiful. Amazing job, you took me to another place. Well done *5/5*
I'm not a huge fan of the beach, mainly because all the ones I have seen were dirty and not remotely beautiful [and the fact that my friends would tease me that things lurked beneath the waves] but your poem did have that small hint that there was and could be beauty, if not now but at one point in time. You didn't use hard to understand imagery in your lines and kept it simple, yet you didn't make it feel like a small drone out narrative either which most people here succed in doing. Good that you stayed out of that. I liked how you could hear the waves and see the sand glisten [without having to say that the sun was on it] if only for that one moment in time.
11 years ago
This piece is just a breathe of fresh air. I have tried to write Haiku poems but was unsuccessful. The descriptions captured in this piece were beautifully pieced together. Great job.
Its hard to rate a haiku becasue it is such a short simple poem. However I feel every poem should have some sort of flow, or plot. A beginning and an end. This one just doesnt have "it". It notes the sound of the breeze and waves, then the sight of the sand. Also the waves and sand are on the ground while the breeze is in the air. Understand? Kinda? lol Its very pretty regardless of this.