Comments : I said no

  • 16 years ago

    by Polaroid

    Wow, short yet powerfully put. very well done, i really liked that one

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    "alone,cold."
    ^^ try alone and cold, darling.

    " . . . because
    I picked the wrong way."
    ^^ I think that should be one line, eh. It might be a bit longer than the rest, but it'll sound and flow a bit better.

    ". . . I have been
    crying myself to sleep lately."

    ^^ Make that one line, but so it's not too long try ;
    I've been crying myself to sleep lately.

    "And I
    finally understand Why,"
    ^^ make that one sentence, or at least take the I down before finally.

    Other than those few things you did a wonderful job, once again.
    I love your poetry. It has great emotion and flow to it all.
    Just a few tweaks here and there.