Comments : Secret smile

  • 15 years ago

    by the simple girl

    And someday, let that secret smile come out and brighten up the whole world =) Good work.


  • 15 years ago

    by IllNeverBGoodEnouf

    Wow. your like ahmazing with words.. i wish i was as good with words as yeah wow! 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Corruption

    Once again great poem
    like always :D:D
    glad to of read it
    and thx for the comments
    they made me smile big big big lol
    at first i was wondering who it was then i saw keekee and knew it was you lol
    thx again for the comments


  • 14 years ago

    by Noo track to walk

    Beautiful poem...!! i love this work of urss =)
    keeep it up!!

  • 14 years ago

    by ether

    A little too much repetition here. It got boring after the first two stanza's because you could predict exactly what the following would say.
    And I'm not the biggest fan of the word "but" used in poetry, so when it's used over and over again it brings the poem down a little.

    Other than that. This was also a little cliche, "my soul is in agony." you hear about that a lot. Instead of saying it is, why not show the reader why it is through your vocabulary and phrases. Though, it takes a while to build that up. Reading more poetry will help it :)
    Everything in this poem seemed to be painful. Just with different words. Pain and agony are the same thing etc.

    Althouuuugh this was still decent, the imagery created wasn't that bad, and the flow was good (I think due to the repetition you have within this, it's expected and therefore flows). Also, the emotions you have underneath these words are great, with a little more experience I'm sure they'll be mind boggling.
    Good job with this. Keep writing, 4/5

    jess ~