Hm, I like this one. The rhymes are simple, and the meter is a bit wacky[that's an awesome word, isn't it?], but the idea is there. I like the, "make me," you used. It's really, challenging, pleading, expressive, and simple. Very nice.

I'd suggest trying out some things like... hmm... metaphors, personification, similies?

Or, actually, something which might be really nice in this poem would be alliteration and assonance, they'd really make the words pop out, I think.
All the same. Nice effort, it was cute.

It's amazing how heartbreak is by far the greatest pain any of us will ever feel, but to look at somebody with a broken heart you'd never know they were dying inside. Great work 5/5 GG23