Comments : I Wish on You

  • 17 years ago

    by MyEscape

    But until then, i'll be hurting in dispair.

    because your whole poem is about wishing he was different or wishing he was gone, I was going to suggest changing this last line to

    "but until then, I'll be wishing you were there."

    But that's just a suggestion. The beginning was very strong and well put and I liked that it was different from your everyday broken hearted poem. So good job!
    *ME*