Comments : I cant stop

  • 16 years ago

    by Stephanie

    This poem is a nice short poem.
    it was enjoyable to read.
    nice job

  • 16 years ago

    by Letty

    This is another poem with great potential. It just needs a little work. First thing you need to do is Capitalize all your single I. The second thing you need to do is try breaking this poem up into verses (it can be read better). You also need to check for misspelled words. For example, in the second stanza instead of the word "To" at the end should be "Too". In the fourth line you wrote: "oh! how soft they are between mine". I would suggest change the word between to the word against. It sounds better and makes more sense. The sixth line could also use a change: "as they caress my every hair". I would suggest:

    As they caress every strand of hair.

    It also makes more sense. Throughout the whole poem you have no punctuation and no capitalization where it should be. The ending of the poem has the word you repeated three times; even though one time you used the letter U. You should never use a letter for a word in poetry. I think you have a wonderful talent you just need to take your time when writing. If things get to hectic and you feel yourself rushing, walk away from it and come back later. I am looking forward to reading a revision of this poem. I have the feeling that you can make it a masterpiece. : )

    Keep writing and I'll keep reading
    Letty