Hey! nice poem. keep it up

I find your poem absolutely amazing... It just get's me, makes me want to shout "wow"... ;)

it was a little hard to understand, i must admit (i'm not a native speaker... but i DO have a dictionary... hehehe)

i don't actually understand why you need to say it is not forced...it doesn't look like it...
=))
isabel

I understood your poem perfectly.It reminds me of how i use to be.Your poem makes me want to keep on reading it over and over.You did a fantastic job on it.: )

Great poem. its really good better than mine

Third times a charm. Anywhos I like the title and although I have read this poem fifteen times it feels like here I go again...

First stanza: The first line was pretty confusing. I mean after I have read it multiple times it is starting to make sense in a strange out of understanding type way. Anywho, it was a great way to begin the poem and caught my attention. You also create a sense of hope with the two last lines and I liked that..

Second stanza: I love the burnt romance line. It is an amazing comparision and I never would of thought of anything like that. Truly amazing. Also the whole pills story I liked and I think that you are using the pills as substitute for the real meaning. But...

Third: Oh the word choice you used here was marvelous. It gives the peice an elegant and intelligant tone while still remaining easy enough to read and understand. These lines>

What I can see is what you can't,
And what you can see is what I can't;
Together we can tell the future,

Omg. I must say they are wonderful. Just amazing. They are simple with a creative twist with a mind turning line that follows. As well as the word glum in the last line which is a perfect choice for this particular peice...

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Fourth stanza: I liked the first two lines but they are kinda point.blank. if you know what I mean. The punctuation plays a huge role in that. Maybe switch is up or something. Just a suggestion. I love the line after that though. Its deeply emotional. An amazing stanza overall.

Fifth stanza: I love the first two lines. They hold sarcasm and in a mellow way as well. Which is perfect. Again, I loved the line about the heat of the cold. You always compare the opposites to what your actually talking about it. && oh my the last two lines. Were just amazing. They are just gawddd.

Sixth stanza: I liked the first two lines, but I think that you could use some type of punctuation to transition into the second line. Or just capitalize the t in though. Lol. It might of been purposly done that way, or I could just be nit picking too much. Either way lovely lines. Great questioning at the end, although the lines before it were kinda on the boring side for me...

Seventh: First thing I noticed, the amount of lines decreased. I do not think that it will mess with the flow of the overall poem. A poem of this length normally does not have large breaks. This stanza didn't quite stand out as much as the others. I'm not sure why. But I did indeed like the last line. Sarcasm is lovely...

Eighth: Brackets. Ahh how I love brackets. An emotion kicker upper for all poems. If used right. Lol. I loved the stanza. The ... before going into the [with pills] has a huge effect. It made me read it different. A lot different that I would of. So great job with that. {Hi five}

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Ninth stanza: I love the first line. Purely beautiful. Although I do not quite like the repetition of stranded. It kinda threw me off the beautifulness. Lol. & oh my gosh. I love the foolishly in love line. Man. Its gorgeous. Just amazing.

Tenth: I felt like this one, was good. And the story behind it was great but it felt rushed. Which might of been good. The flow was smooth and the question at the end really gave a feeling of hmm. Confusion or something like that. Lol. Overall, good just not amazing.

Eleventh: Oh boy. Those first two lines are pure comedy. While still serious because I have felt this way many times your just so mad you want to complain about EVERYTHING. Lol. Great emotion and a wonderful way to portray it hun. I didn't like the cut to the word sanity. It was fast and should be something there. Idk what but yeah...

Twelth: I like the stanza. It was simple yet relative to the whole peice.I didn't quite like the third line while the last two lines were lovely. But the punctuation in the 3rd line was great expression. Lol...

Last stanza: FREAKINN AMAZING. Wow. What a suprise. It was awesome. Smooth flow and the last three words seperated like that were wonderful. I loved it. Overall, a wonderful peice. I loved it. 5.5

Amber.