Comments : Toxic Melody

  • 16 years ago

    by Gasttlee

    "Stars shall crumble to dust as wind blows through air,
    Casting a light rain over meadows swaying in distance."

    Those lines hit me the most. They sound deep, sad and very dark almost with the words "dust" and "rain". That's just what 1st popped in my mind. I could be wrong. That's just my impression. It was beautiful! Your whole poem expressed so much love and feeling in it. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    Awww. I am so picturing me in this poem! haha it was so cute I wish moments like this existed for me. If your writing this from experience you are super duper lucky! I loved this poem though. Nothing really I would change at all.
    5/5. kaila

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    -Drift throughout the atmosphere toxic melody will arise,
    As firefly's flicker entwined with blue beaded butterfly's,
    Stars shall crumble to dust as wind blows through air,
    Casting a light rain over meadows swaying in distance.-
    ^Wording in this stanza is so amazing and you took my breath with this amazing combination of words, emotions are so overwhelming and this stanza is truly great.

    -"Kiss me" She whispers grasping his hand within hers,
    As practicals of what once was float from starless night,
    Rose petals travel within breeze, jewels of his affection,
    As silhouettes of a lullaby deteriorate through the mist.-
    Wow! This are truly moving lines, very powerful and imagery here is vivid and it still dance trough my mind, beautifully written.

    -Droplets evaporate as sunrise forms before glowing eyes,
    "Morning comes round too quick" He hushes to her ear,
    Rainbows become faded within the view of cloudless sky,
    As toxic melody wisps a scent of Daisy's over grass fields -
    Ah, I am speechless again, this touched me deeply! Just wow...

    Whole poem has truly captivating and remarkable rhythm, I absolutely admire your ability to express strong emotions on amazing way! Bravo.
    You should never stop writing, this poem shows your HUGE talent.

  • 16 years ago

    by Stephanie Naylor

    I thought this was a very deep poem, the emotion was great, and i loved the scene you created in this, it was very easy to imagine, i loved it very much, 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Wow... I'm speechless and I need a moment for my brain to start functioning again...
    This piece is filled with breathtaking beauty yet plunged in tones of touching sadness. Whole poem has fantastic and amazingly vivid imagery. Your descriptions are flawless and I could get lost in each stanza. I wish that this piece was longer cause I feel that I could read pages and pages filled with such precious words. This the best love poem I've read in a while, true poetic gem, endlessly brilliant and superb.
    I can't choose my favorite part because every line is so, so amazing.
    Keep writing!

  • 16 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    Very beautiful and sweet poem.
    The flow was really well done.
    I really liked this story such a cutesy
    love poem. WEll done.
    5/5
    <3tay

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    The imagery truly stood out to me in this piece. It was captivating and kept my attention. This truly was a unique piece and the words you choise to use fit the poem perfectly. The flow was flawless as usual and I loved how beautifully sweet this was ... it left me wanting more. Each line was just amazing and there was not one line I liked because all of it was wonderful. Well done *5/5*