Wow. You write poems much older than you are.

The one thing that seemed a little out of place to me was the third stanza where you rhymed 'away' with 'away'. It comes across as a little repetitive.

I also just wanted to add that you have an amazing vocabulary compared to most young people, and I would advise you to hold on to that.

Very nice poem; take care.

This is brilliant. I loved it. It's filled with so much imagery and emotion. Your flow was flawless also. This poem made me actually sit back and think. You have a wonderful talent. From reading this poem alone I can see that you're going places. There was only two very minor changes you need to make. First you need to add punctuation to the sentences where they're needed and you need to find another word to rhyme with away for the fourth stanza. But it's only a minor detail so don't fret. I must tell you again how much I loved this poem. I am looking forward to reading more of your work.

Letty