Comments : Sweet Sacrifice

  • 16 years ago

    by Indian Comma Bean

    Loved the imagery and overall flow and feeling of the poem, good luck great write(s)

  • 16 years ago

    by Lemma

    Aww this was so sad, I really liked the structure ad ryme. It flowed really well. My favourite lines:

    "Wait for me where
    the pain doesn't exist"

    So sad but hopeful at the same time.

    Em xXx

  • 16 years ago

    by Wallace

    A nice poem. Although the flow was kinda off I think you need to watch the syllable count (how much syllables in a line). You had very nice vocabulry and good imagery but the ending was a little predictable.

  • 16 years ago

    by Michelle18

    Sad and very powerful.. but the you seemed to lose your flow a bit here and there.. some lines were longer than others... and i didnt really like the structure..but im not going to downvote just because i didnt like the structure.. i thought it had a good concept. so i think it still deserves a 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by FlawlesslyTarnished

    Very beautiful. The flow was a bit rocky at one point, but besides that, this piece was amazing. And so emotional. You portrayed the sorrow of this piece so well. And I really liked this piece :] definitely a 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Danielle

    Wonderful once again.
    the only thing that would make it better is strong diction to express the strong images you present.