This is really sad. The emotions that you were going through can be read in each line. I think you did a good job, but there are a few problems that need fixing. Punctuation, grammar, and spelling. You should always capitalize I when it stands alone or when it's being connected to form one word instead of using two. You should also use punctuation because it helps the reader understand the message that you're trying to convey more. You also have a few misspelled words that you need to correct. Other than that I would say that this will be a perfect poem after you make the few changes. I really think you're going places with your talent. Good luck on your journey.

Letty