"No officer there is no blood in my alcohol system!"

Last night I looked up at the stars and wondered "Where in the heck is my ceiling?"

There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray that the light at the end of your tunnel isn't a train!

If I called the wrong number why did you answer?!?!

If a penny was really lucky it wouldn't have been dropped in the first place!

Due to recent cut backs, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice.
Thank You

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast and the mime next door went nuts!

I tried to sniff coke... but the ice cubes got stuck up my nose!

Nobody is perfect. I am nobody therefore I AM PERFECT!

I didn't lose my marbles... I sold them on e-bay!