If you want me to respect the fact you are Christian, you'll have to accept I'm an Aethist. It's not a crime to find it impossible to believe in a man who was really a God, whose mum was a virgin. - George Mikes, How to be God.

You've managed to do incredibly stupid things before, but how the hell did you lose your mobile in a pizza box?!

Remember what happened to the poor man who got everything he ever wanted. He lived happily ever after.
- Willy Wonka, (The Original) CHarlie and the Chocolate Factory

Im not really mad. Only northbynorthwest and a little to the right

Human nature- I'm resigned to it.

If you're going to tell a few people a secret, you might as well announce it to the world. They'll learn about it anyway.

I'm not complaining about your personality. I'm merely observing the way you are.

Good news will stay and bad news will refuse to leave.
Tevye- Fiddler on the roof

Give a man fire and he will be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
- Some guy from Amsterdam

I'm not lazy I'm just reluctant to work.