"Why must I always 'concentrate' on the orange juice bottle?"

~anonymous

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet."

~anonymous

"Remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off."

~anonymous

"Never lick a solid fuel rocket engine."

~my technology teacher, Mr. Ketcham

"I swear to drunk I'm not God!"

~a bumper sticker

"I never apologize. I'm sorry but that's just the way I am."

~Homer Simpson

"Stupidity is more than a state of mind. It is also a fruitcake."

~anonymous

"I am never wrong, I'm just unright."

~yours truly

"People are ignorant. They'll feel better as long as somebody is punished."

~Rufus from FFVII

"I have good opinions, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them."

~George Bush