I thought that if I prepared myself for the worst...then I would protect myself from that unforgiving pain. Turns out...I don't know how to protect myself... the pain endured is so much worse...it's unimaginable.

"Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it." -J. Petit Senn

Words so strong
You hear nothing
Tears fall
You don't move
Bruises stain my skin
You look away
You don't love me anymore...

When you're forced to stand alone...you realize what exactly you're made of...

Pump the drugs
Through my veins
Numb my body
Get rid of the pain

(From new poem "A Big Mistake...)

"Please don't go."
I can't remeber why I didn't say it.
I don't think it would've made a difference.
But still, I really wish I would've just put it out there.

-not mine

Pick me up
I'm falling
Stop my bleeding heart
Can't you hear me calling?

Down
down
down
I'm falling
My heart is bleeding
Won't you save me?

I've never felt so lonely.
I've never hurt so bad.
I miss you like crazy
I miss what we had...

I can't believe you actually left...
Especially when you promised me a million times... That you never would...