Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off...

this is a song title, not an original

You can tune a guitar...but you can't tun-a-fish...haha...maybe I'm just retarded but that's so funny!

When life gives you lemons, find one of two things: 1)someone to throw them at or 2)a shrimp to squeeze them on

If I was rearranging the alphabet...I'd put U and I together...

When you are decietful, you always think someone is scheming against you. But if you're oblivious to who's backstabbing you, revvenge becomes 2nd nature.

Q: Where have you been all of my life?

A: Hiding from you!

Q: Did we go on a date once or twice?

A: Maybe once, but I never make the same mistake twice!

Him: I think I could make you very happy...

Her: Oh, your leaving?

Q: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?

A: Nothing cuz I can't talk and laugh at the same time!

I only spoke the truth when I said I love you. But once again, you lied by returning the sentiment.