I told myselff to cheer up, be happy... and then i realized... i dont remember what happiness feels like anymore

I told my closest firends how i felt...
and now they forsake me
i guess they were never really friends at all

Somehow, somebody telling me theyll pray for me when i tell them im depressed after years of my own praying, just doesnt seem like help to me

I woke up this morning... damm not again

"i feel like shit man, im depressed"
"hey i had that once too, it lasted for about a week, when my cat died, sux doesnt it"

(tpyical ignorance), (taken from conversations)

You ask me how i am?
well im just
Fuked up
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional

Ouch, well that hurt.. just let me go and get my Razor blade to make it feel better